Cardinal hair sin...

I recently got married (well at the time of writing this post I have been married for 9 days)...the honeymoon is going to happen in a couple of months time - sunny Christmas...whoo hooo!!

As a devout curly girl and lover of all things natural when it comes to my hair, I was determined to wear my curls proudly on my wedding day. Problem with being a curly girl (or at least this is what I've found) is finding a hair stylist that you can trust. The only stylist who has gone near my hair in the last 2 years is Carlos Flores who is based in New York. This really sucks as he only comes to London twice a year and wasn't around at the time of the wedding.

So the curl genius wasn't going to be in the UK at the time of the wedding I decided to go have a chat to the creative director at the salon where I usually go for my me-time treats. In no time he had convinced me that I needed to wear the front of my hair straight because it needed 'softening'. Um...excuse me...so every other day of the year my face looks hard?? Anyway, I bought it. Hook, line and sinker.

I had a photo of the hair style I wanted. I walked out of the salon looking nothing like that. He said that it was too high fashion and that I'd look too dated with a hairstyle like that. So instead I ended up with most of my hair getting blow-dried straight and then he curled some of it as well. Ironic eh? Me with curly hair getting it straightened and then curls tonged into them? Go figure. Needless to say, by the time the speeches were finished my hair was in frizz city!

This wasn't the only thing that peeved me about my hair experience. The day before the wedding I went into the salon for a treatment and cut.
1. The lady washing my hair...wait for it...rubbed (yes I said rubbed) my hair with a towel. Normally I would have lashed out at her but I realised that she was uneducated in the ways of curly hair and I was determined to maintain a blissful state in the hours leading up to the wedding.
2. He cut my hair wet - stretched it and cut it. Thankfully I can't see that it did too much damage - I don't look like I have any holes in my head.
3. He didn't work with what I had - my curls - and did what he felt comfortable with.

The programme for the day was: ceremony followed by lunch, a break for a couple of hours then a party into the wee hours of the morning. After lunch we went to our hotel to check in and rest up a bit before the party and I promised my brother-in-law that I would get rid of the frizz (he's a joker).  So I had a shower, washed all the CRAP out of my hair (twice) and then chucked on loads of conditioner and got ready to party. I looked at the photos and while I like the wedding pics, I still think that I could have gotten away with being a true curly girl.

Ceremony pics

Party pics

Personally, I think I prefer party me. What do you think?

Ps...I must say this in closing. It was the BEST day of my life. EVER. If I had to do it all again without changing a thing, I would.

Thanks for reading.
x

Curly Hair Obsessions

As a teenager and well into my 20's, I was constantly having my hair relaxed. In 2004 a lot of changes were happening: I ended the relationship that I was in, I quit my job, I decided to move to London and...I chopped off all my hair. Well, most of my hair - from below my bra strap length to just 2cm. It was like a weight lifted off my shoulders! Writing this I realise that the act of cutting my hair was a way to manifest all the changes that were happening in my life.

After the big chop I wore my hair curly most of the time. And while I haven't relaxed my hair since then, on the odd occasion I have used hair straighteners (just to see how long my hair really was, of course). The last time that I went for the silky smooth look (have you seen Don't Mess With The Zohan?) was in Feb 2009. 

I thought that giving up relaxers and hair straighteners would remove all hair frustrations. Boy was I wrong. When I think of all the things I used on my hair - I say 'things' because not all of them were actual hair products! Vaseline, baby oil, aqueous cream and body lotion all once part of my hair care routine. I've tried too many curly hair products to mention here. Curl enhancing and frizz free were the key words to get me to try a product. My biggest frustration was that I could use the same product and do the same routine on 2 different days and get 2 totally different results. I could have pulled my hair out! As I mentioned in my first post the turning point for me was The Proposal (our engagement, not the movie). In my quest for perfect curly wedding hair, I developed an obsession.

It started with me researching hair salons that could 'handle' curly hair. Then I started looking into curly hair care. There were loads of US sites which proved useful (and still do). The ones I keep going back to are Curly Nikki and Tightly Curly. In my quest to find something in the UK, I stumbled upon British Curlies and this is where my obsession reached a manic state. I would stay up until the wee hours because of the wealth of information on the site...and I wanted to know it all...NOW! I learnt about the CG (Curly Girl) way, curl type, porosity, texture, co-washing, plopping, cones, protein treatments, low-poos (that still cracks me up), the list is endless. I decided to have a go at the CG way because it seemed to work wonders for so many other curlies. I took my before photo and was on my way. The obsession didn't end there...I was taking photos of my hair every day and posting it in my Curly Hair Diary. I was still spending hours at the pc every night reading page after page in the forum. Coupled with this was a new obsession with products. I had to try everything! So I scoured the British Curlies Swap Board for samples of products.

About a month and a half before we were due to be married, we decided to postpone (don't worry, we're still very happy together). We were planning a wedding in the UK and realised that our shared dream wedding needed to be somewhere else...and now we're planning a beach wedding :-)

This decision gave me some perspective and I realised that this obsession (or any obsession for that matter) wasn't healthy. Focussing all my attention on one thing (my hair) was at the expense of a host of other things that deserved more from me: my relationship, work, studies, and me.

Have I given up curly hair research? No way! But instead of reading everything, I look for something specific. Right now I'm trying to learn more about protective styles. So when I go to the sites, that's what I search for, instead of going through all the posts and seeing what they can teach me. I'm not sorry that I brought my attention to my hair and that I've learned so much about haircare. The most important lesson so far has been this: at the end of the day, it's all about balance.

Thanks for reading.

Deep treatments good for hair...and skin

Last night I was nursing my fiancé (he was running a 39°C fever) and I decided to do a deep treatment on my curly hair as I definitely wasn't going anywhere. So I mixed up a few of my favourite ingredients: 

coconut oil

argan oil

honey (you know what that looks like, right?)

shea butter

and then added something new...rosewater

All of these products (except the honey) were from Sheabutter Cottage. You'll find only pure goodness when you shop here. In my quest to be more natural I bought the rosewater to use as a face toner. Browsing through the site I learned that rosewater could be used to "lock in moisture to impart shine." So I thought I'd give it a try. 

Boy was my hair happy! That's not the point of this post though. What happened through the night is that my DT mixture leaked. Yes indeedy, it leaked all over my pillow. The mix was a bit runny because of the rosewater so I should have seen it coming. So when I woke up needless to say, my cheek was a little wet. But it was sooo smooth! Seriously smooth. Super moisturised kinda smooth. And so it was that one half of my face also got a DT.

What's the point you ask? Well had I been using products loaded with chemicals then potentially shock, horror, I'd wake up with half of my face suffering some sort of damage due to the leakage. But thankfully the ingredients I use in my haircare I use for my face-care too and so a little leakage turned out to be a benefit. :) 

p.s. the fever broke and he's feeling much better x

Life With A Mane of Curls

When I was growing up I felt ashamed of my curly hair. I always remember how my Dad would only tell me that my hair looked nice after I'd been to the hairdresser and she worked her magic to get it super straight. Rewind 24 years back when I was about 10 years old and he took me to the hair salon (my Mum was at work) and left me there for them to tame my mane. A couple of hours later, man the look on his face! He was livid. There I was, a shoo-in for a role in The Lion King! He took me to an aunt so that she could rectify their 'mess'. There are some memories that just stay with you, aren't there?

In my teens I found a hairdresser who could blow my hair out and it would remain straight even after a night out in a club! I remained loyal to her even after I moved to London. Yes, the only time I'd get my hair cut or coloured was when I went home to South Africa (which wasn't always every year). 


Fast forward to 2010 and my wonderful boyfriend proposes and becomes my fiancé. (go on let me hear some 'aaaahs') I'm thrown into a wedding planning frenzy: venue, reception, guest list, favours, dress, make-up and hair. Hair was a real downer for me. I couldn't understand why I'd use the same products on 2 different days and 2 completely different looks. So I started researching about hair, about curls. I needed to know more about curly hair because what I was doing wasn't working. With only months to go until the wedding date we'd set, I needed nothing short of a miracle to ensure that I had perfect curls. 


Well my prayers were answered and I found sites like Curly Nikki and British Curlies. I discovered the CG way and learned about co-washing, low-pooing, the dreaded cones and sulphates and other nasties. Henna became my friend - hair colour with benefits.


So now my hair is healthier than ever before and I love it. But there's always more that I can learn and so this is my place to record my learnings. I'm also looking at ways to live life more naturally. Be it skincare, eating, just general living. Thanks for coming on this journey with me.